I was out of the country for a week. One thing I didn't miss was another say nothing pissing contest between candidates - live on CNN. Whether its Barack and Hillary arguing about "Bill bashing" or McCain and Mitt dissecting timetable comments it doesn't really matter because no one cares! Get over yourselves and try to have a discussion a level above the second grade. What's next - a double dog dare?
Haven't any of these idiots figured out that the public wants change in not just how the country is supposed to work but in how our presidential candidates conduct themselves?
Tell us what you can do, not what someone else can't do based upon a comment they made to a reporter from The Onion in 1988. Do any of them have actual ideas to put forward. Seriously, I could spout off the same crap that all of them say and be just as credible - "We should balance the budget, cut spending, have affordable healthcare, and make friends with the rest of the world. And I'm the candidate to bring about all of these changes." Please, stop saying that! Tell us how, with your leadership, that is going to happen.
Ron Paul is starting to make more sense than anyone. Don't make me throw away my vote! Have a real debate - say something of substance. Let Lou Dobbs moderate. I can't take anymore of these vanilla CNN hosts. They act like they're auditioning for Entertainment Tonight. What's next? "Hi this is Mark McGrath and Mary Hart live from CNN Headquarters with tonight's Presidential Debate!"
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
It's the Economy, Stupid (Republicans) - Part II
If the economy becomes the overwhelming issue that voters are concerned with come November will either party choose their nominee based primarily on that issue? Did the GOP learn anything from the 1992 debacle when nobody really cared that George Bush Sr. (Big George) had just fought a very successful and dare I say it, popular war? I wonder.
Rudy is all about national security and 9/11. McCain's appeal is based on his foreign policy and military experiences. Fred - does it matter? Huck - I'm not sure what his appeal is other than his religious convictions and quick wit. He, more than any other candidate, probably has the most room to craft his campaign around new or "more" relevant issues. That leaves Mitt.
Will Romney's extensive business experience pay off or will he be portrayed as someone, like Big George, that doesn't know the price of a loaf of bread? I saw a quote recently where he termed anyone making less than $200K as "middle class". I don't know if that quote is accurate but perception is reality. That definition may by true in Manhattan or on Capitol Hill but it's not true in the Heartland. It's not true in Michigan either but Mitt seems to have gotten his message across there. So is Romney the Republican economic candidate? He can always get a more senior foreign policy guy on the ticket with him. It worked for W.
Rudy is all about national security and 9/11. McCain's appeal is based on his foreign policy and military experiences. Fred - does it matter? Huck - I'm not sure what his appeal is other than his religious convictions and quick wit. He, more than any other candidate, probably has the most room to craft his campaign around new or "more" relevant issues. That leaves Mitt.
Will Romney's extensive business experience pay off or will he be portrayed as someone, like Big George, that doesn't know the price of a loaf of bread? I saw a quote recently where he termed anyone making less than $200K as "middle class". I don't know if that quote is accurate but perception is reality. That definition may by true in Manhattan or on Capitol Hill but it's not true in the Heartland. It's not true in Michigan either but Mitt seems to have gotten his message across there. So is Romney the Republican economic candidate? He can always get a more senior foreign policy guy on the ticket with him. It worked for W.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Mitt Manhandles McCain
Mitt is back in the race! Three major tests with three different winners. That begs the question - does SC matter at all? You would think that it would give the winner a little momentum going into Super Tuesday. But, is that the case? None of the prior events seem to have carried over to the next one.
Is Rudy right, that only Super Tuesday really matters and that everything before it is somehow irrelevant? We're about to find out. In the last 40 years has there been a primary season like this one where neither party has a clear front runner? Fascinating! Let's hope that this years conventions don't turn into a rerun of 1968 Chicago. Although if somebody roughed up Wolf Blitzer (ala Dan Rather) on the convention floor it wouldn't bother me too much. Actually, it would be must-see TV!
I'm out of the country next week. I wonder if anything will be different by the time I return. Will Barack or Hillary be on the ropes - according to the mainstream media? Will Mike Bloomberg get off the fence and become the third rail? Will Rudy actually be a viable candidate? Will Dennis the Menace get his recount in New Hampshire? Will we even care?
Is Rudy right, that only Super Tuesday really matters and that everything before it is somehow irrelevant? We're about to find out. In the last 40 years has there been a primary season like this one where neither party has a clear front runner? Fascinating! Let's hope that this years conventions don't turn into a rerun of 1968 Chicago. Although if somebody roughed up Wolf Blitzer (ala Dan Rather) on the convention floor it wouldn't bother me too much. Actually, it would be must-see TV!
I'm out of the country next week. I wonder if anything will be different by the time I return. Will Barack or Hillary be on the ropes - according to the mainstream media? Will Mike Bloomberg get off the fence and become the third rail? Will Rudy actually be a viable candidate? Will Dennis the Menace get his recount in New Hampshire? Will we even care?
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Romney in Michigan
So what happens if Romney falters in the state where his father was the three-term governor? Does he pack it in? It seems to be a given that Romney won't win in SC either and that in fact he may do no better than third in the Palmetto State. Should he keep spending money and think that he will rise like the mythical phoenix on Super Tuesday? I don't think so. That strategy belongs to Rudy and may not be working for him. One candidate using that approach is risky enough. Being the second guy in would be suicidal.
So Mitt, it's do or die. Either win one for dear old dad or go home and salvage your career. You're a relatively young man. You've learned some lessons. Nothing says this is the end of Mitt politically. It's just the end in 2008. Ironically enough, in Michigan, where it all started.
So Mitt, it's do or die. Either win one for dear old dad or go home and salvage your career. You're a relatively young man. You've learned some lessons. Nothing says this is the end of Mitt politically. It's just the end in 2008. Ironically enough, in Michigan, where it all started.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Michigan Musings
Why are the Democrats passing on one of the most important Midwestern states? Supposedly they are punishing Michigan for moving up their primary date. So none of the Dem candidates are going to campaign in the state with one of the worst long-term economic outlooks in the entire country. Isn't this election all about the economy? Does it make any sense for them to bypass Michigan? The primary is still going to be held. The Republicans are all going to be there. You can still vote if you're a registered Democrat. The catch is that the only name on the ballot is Hillary Clinton. Pretty sneaky. I wonder whos is shedding tears now.
The Obama/Edwards strategy now is to get Dems out to vote and to cast a ballot for uncommitted. Otherwise all of the delegates are going to go to Hillary. So if it comes down to a floor fight at the Convention is the Democratic National Committee going to prohibit Michigan delegates from attending and then voting? Seriously, is that the plan Howard?
"Let's all come together in unity and change politics forever, in these 49 states!"
The Obama/Edwards strategy now is to get Dems out to vote and to cast a ballot for uncommitted. Otherwise all of the delegates are going to go to Hillary. So if it comes down to a floor fight at the Convention is the Democratic National Committee going to prohibit Michigan delegates from attending and then voting? Seriously, is that the plan Howard?
"Let's all come together in unity and change politics forever, in these 49 states!"
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
New Hampshire
GOP
John McCain won fairly easily. I think he was projected the winner about Noon yesterday. Wow. Other than McCain's Lazarus like-like comeback I'm not sure what surprised me more. The fact that Romney can't get his next door neighbors to vote for him or that Rudy ran neck-and-neck with Ron Paul. Does the GOP have a viable national candidate? I mean someone that can get voters to turn out for them? I'm not sure. So far the Dems are coming out in droves. They have a street fight brewing. But doesn't the GOP also have a hotly contested race. Why no excitement? So lets see how they currently stand:
McCain - Viable. People like his maverick ways. But will conservatives vote for someone perceived as soft on immigration and not a real "party" man? Plus, if the youth vote is important in '08 (and that's not a given - remember the "Deaniacs") will younger voters go for a guy who would be the oldest elected President ever? Older than even Ronald Reagan. I need a little bit more inspiration John.
Romney - Lots of money! Not very exciting. Seems to believe that the old GOP attack ad method is going to work for him. So far it hasn't. He may win Michigan though. His dad was governor, he was born there and has a solid organization. I'm not saying he's a favorite son but he may pull it off. Then what? Does Mitt become the front-runner?
Huckabee - Don't discount this guy. Southern governors have made it to the Oval Office recently, albeit from the other party - Clinton & Carter. If he can broaden his base past the Christian Coalition he may have legs. Interesting guy. Driven. Know anyone else that used to be obese, lost more than 100 lbs and started running marathons? You don't do that without singular determination. He's going to be a factor. Plus, he has Chuck Norris. Is there a Secretary of Ass Kickin' cabinet position? If not, there should be.
Rudy, Rudy, Rudy - President of 9/11. Believes that all he has to do is survive to Super Tuesday. He might be right. If Mitt takes Michigan and McCain or Huck win SC doesn't that throw it wide open? We've already seen comebacks by other candidates. Why not Rudy? It could happen. I can see him winning New York and Florida.
Fred - Hang in there. The writer's strike is almost over.
Ron Paul - God love you! Although if you do the Ralph Nader thing in November you may have to move in with OJ 'cause everybody is gonna' hate your ass.
DEMS
Okay, so you want change but maybe not that much. Was that the message last night? Or do older women want one of their own elected before their too old to care? (I know that sounds cruel but I'm "old" too so I can say that). Another remarkable comeback. CNN had Hillary dead and buried. I love watching Wolf explain why they were so wrong and then won't make a projection call until every other media outlet has already done so. Courage! And you wonder why FOX is killing you in the ratings. Somebody over there other than Lou Dobbs needs to grow a pair.
So where does that leave the Donkeys? Wide, wide open.
Hillary & Barack - Too close to call. Completely fascinating race. But will it play out past Super Tuesday? Will it take all of their energy before the general election campaign really gets started? Right now either one of them would have to be considered a heavy favorite in November. But it's January. Long way to go. Really long way.
John Edwards - It might be time to start packing it in. You definitely need to at least write a second speech. Something besides the little girl who died because of Big Insurance, the 50 year old guy with the cleft pallette, and veterans sleeping under bridges. It's insulting! I'm a veteran and somehow I've avoided sleeping outdoors. Reminds me of the time I met Al Gore and he told me, "Welcome home!" Like I'd been wandering around Africa with the frickin' Foreign Legion. Get a grip Johnny and give us a reason to vote or go back to your mansion by the mill.
Richardson - You're in there! Keep playing the middle and your on the ticket. Seriously, you belong in Washington. I mean I like Albuquerque but it has to be a step down from living in Georgetown or Potomac. Admit it. You just want to be able to eat lunch with the cool kids. You can't do that in New Mexico.
John McCain won fairly easily. I think he was projected the winner about Noon yesterday. Wow. Other than McCain's Lazarus like-like comeback I'm not sure what surprised me more. The fact that Romney can't get his next door neighbors to vote for him or that Rudy ran neck-and-neck with Ron Paul. Does the GOP have a viable national candidate? I mean someone that can get voters to turn out for them? I'm not sure. So far the Dems are coming out in droves. They have a street fight brewing. But doesn't the GOP also have a hotly contested race. Why no excitement? So lets see how they currently stand:
McCain - Viable. People like his maverick ways. But will conservatives vote for someone perceived as soft on immigration and not a real "party" man? Plus, if the youth vote is important in '08 (and that's not a given - remember the "Deaniacs") will younger voters go for a guy who would be the oldest elected President ever? Older than even Ronald Reagan. I need a little bit more inspiration John.
Romney - Lots of money! Not very exciting. Seems to believe that the old GOP attack ad method is going to work for him. So far it hasn't. He may win Michigan though. His dad was governor, he was born there and has a solid organization. I'm not saying he's a favorite son but he may pull it off. Then what? Does Mitt become the front-runner?
Huckabee - Don't discount this guy. Southern governors have made it to the Oval Office recently, albeit from the other party - Clinton & Carter. If he can broaden his base past the Christian Coalition he may have legs. Interesting guy. Driven. Know anyone else that used to be obese, lost more than 100 lbs and started running marathons? You don't do that without singular determination. He's going to be a factor. Plus, he has Chuck Norris. Is there a Secretary of Ass Kickin' cabinet position? If not, there should be.
Rudy, Rudy, Rudy - President of 9/11. Believes that all he has to do is survive to Super Tuesday. He might be right. If Mitt takes Michigan and McCain or Huck win SC doesn't that throw it wide open? We've already seen comebacks by other candidates. Why not Rudy? It could happen. I can see him winning New York and Florida.
Fred - Hang in there. The writer's strike is almost over.
Ron Paul - God love you! Although if you do the Ralph Nader thing in November you may have to move in with OJ 'cause everybody is gonna' hate your ass.
DEMS
Okay, so you want change but maybe not that much. Was that the message last night? Or do older women want one of their own elected before their too old to care? (I know that sounds cruel but I'm "old" too so I can say that). Another remarkable comeback. CNN had Hillary dead and buried. I love watching Wolf explain why they were so wrong and then won't make a projection call until every other media outlet has already done so. Courage! And you wonder why FOX is killing you in the ratings. Somebody over there other than Lou Dobbs needs to grow a pair.
So where does that leave the Donkeys? Wide, wide open.
Hillary & Barack - Too close to call. Completely fascinating race. But will it play out past Super Tuesday? Will it take all of their energy before the general election campaign really gets started? Right now either one of them would have to be considered a heavy favorite in November. But it's January. Long way to go. Really long way.
John Edwards - It might be time to start packing it in. You definitely need to at least write a second speech. Something besides the little girl who died because of Big Insurance, the 50 year old guy with the cleft pallette, and veterans sleeping under bridges. It's insulting! I'm a veteran and somehow I've avoided sleeping outdoors. Reminds me of the time I met Al Gore and he told me, "Welcome home!" Like I'd been wandering around Africa with the frickin' Foreign Legion. Get a grip Johnny and give us a reason to vote or go back to your mansion by the mill.
Richardson - You're in there! Keep playing the middle and your on the ticket. Seriously, you belong in Washington. I mean I like Albuquerque but it has to be a step down from living in Georgetown or Potomac. Admit it. You just want to be able to eat lunch with the cool kids. You can't do that in New Mexico.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Saturday's Debates
Like Obama, I too was watching football during the debates so I may have missed a word or two.
The GOP
Was it just me or did Mitt Romney look like he was ready to run to the principal's office and tattle on John McCain?
"I don't know what's with all the personal remarks?"
Mitt - you ran attack ads against a guy who spent 5 years as a POW and got the s**t beat out of him every day! Did you think he was just going to sit there and take it??? I don't know whether you are totally disingenuous or just stupid but either way I can't vote for you! From all of the recent polls results, most of New Hampshire can't either. It's the Granite State! You're lucky McCain didn't pelt you with a few.
Rudy, Rudy, Rudy - where are you guy? Super Tuesday is looking pretty far away.
Huck - Hang in there. South Carolina is positively full of bible thumpers. Third place in New Hampshire would be a coup and looks doable.
Fred - Please, either run for President or go home. Just don't stand there and take up space.
Ron Paul - He makes sense in a 1970ish utopian sort of way. I'll bet he still owns a bong. I like the guy. Wouldn't vote for him in a million years but he does say some smart things.
The Dems
Did anyone else hear the strains of "Street Fightin Man" playing in the background during Hillary's response to the Edwards-Obama double team? WOW! Angry woman alert!
"I just don't talk about change! F**kers!"
I'm pretty sure after her little tirade that if she would've started walking towards either one of them, they both would have been in Vermont by nightfall or at least out of town by sun-up. And I thought John Edwards was the only one who took this campaign personally.
BTW - How many times did Edwards say that? Is his Dad still working in the mill? You would think the guy just came off a double shift, stubbed out his Lucky Strike in the parking lot and walked into the debate. C'mon your a multi-millionaire laywer, John. Talk about what you would do, not what your grandma did or how you co-sponsored one piece of legislation (that never passed through the House) during your Senate career. Put some fire with the smoke because Obama's got you beat on the agent-of-change thing. People like you. Give them a reason to vote for you.
Otherwise, Mrs. Clinton gonna slap you right out of the primary. She wants Barack one-on-one. And honestly, isn't that what we all really want to see? If they could only get Michael Buffer to moderate... Let get ready to rumble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bill Richardson - still running a strong race for the Veep slot.
Can't wait until Tuesday and there's football tonight!
The GOP
Was it just me or did Mitt Romney look like he was ready to run to the principal's office and tattle on John McCain?
"I don't know what's with all the personal remarks?"
Mitt - you ran attack ads against a guy who spent 5 years as a POW and got the s**t beat out of him every day! Did you think he was just going to sit there and take it??? I don't know whether you are totally disingenuous or just stupid but either way I can't vote for you! From all of the recent polls results, most of New Hampshire can't either. It's the Granite State! You're lucky McCain didn't pelt you with a few.
Rudy, Rudy, Rudy - where are you guy? Super Tuesday is looking pretty far away.
Huck - Hang in there. South Carolina is positively full of bible thumpers. Third place in New Hampshire would be a coup and looks doable.
Fred - Please, either run for President or go home. Just don't stand there and take up space.
Ron Paul - He makes sense in a 1970ish utopian sort of way. I'll bet he still owns a bong. I like the guy. Wouldn't vote for him in a million years but he does say some smart things.
The Dems
Did anyone else hear the strains of "Street Fightin Man" playing in the background during Hillary's response to the Edwards-Obama double team? WOW! Angry woman alert!
"I just don't talk about change! F**kers!"
I'm pretty sure after her little tirade that if she would've started walking towards either one of them, they both would have been in Vermont by nightfall or at least out of town by sun-up. And I thought John Edwards was the only one who took this campaign personally.
BTW - How many times did Edwards say that? Is his Dad still working in the mill? You would think the guy just came off a double shift, stubbed out his Lucky Strike in the parking lot and walked into the debate. C'mon your a multi-millionaire laywer, John. Talk about what you would do, not what your grandma did or how you co-sponsored one piece of legislation (that never passed through the House) during your Senate career. Put some fire with the smoke because Obama's got you beat on the agent-of-change thing. People like you. Give them a reason to vote for you.
Otherwise, Mrs. Clinton gonna slap you right out of the primary. She wants Barack one-on-one. And honestly, isn't that what we all really want to see? If they could only get Michael Buffer to moderate... Let get ready to rumble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bill Richardson - still running a strong race for the Veep slot.
Can't wait until Tuesday and there's football tonight!
Friday, January 4, 2008
Iowa Dem results
Close but no cigar on my predictions. Obama. Obama. Obama. I actually thought that John Edwards' hard work was going to pay off. In retrospect, maybe it did. After all he did finish in front of Hillary. The story of the night was Obama's victory and not just by a little. If you saw his victory speech you had to feel good. The son of a girl from Kansas and a guy from Kenya. The "USA" chant. Political affiliation didn't matter. It make you feel good. Maybe that was the whole point.
Contrast that with the Hillary's "I'm Still in the Game" speech. "Look at all of these people from the 1990's lined up behind me. Don't we all look like losers. I can't believe I actually have to go to New Hampshire. Damn it, just make me President. Now. Please."
Lame.
Bill looked like he was hoping for another tsunami to hit so he could to catch the next flight out of town. He seemed tired and beaten. Now the pundits are tring to make Hillary the next "Comeback Kid". Only they forgot something - you need to be likeable. If you had the opportunity to hit Starbucks for just 10 minutes with one of the candidates would you pick Hillary? Would she even be in the top 5? She might be a really smart, experienced person. She's just not that likeable.
Edward's speech was just as impassioned as his campaigning. Is that enough? Probably not. This isn't 1968. He's not Bobby Kennedy. The working-class, union coalition just doesn't exist anymore. I appreciate the fact that his family worked so hard to give him a better life. I can identify with that from my own family experience. But that lifestyle and those types of jobs are never coming back. I feel his passion but unless he wins New Hampshire and then South Carolina I can't see him continuing. And he's not going to win South Carolina.
Contrast that with the Hillary's "I'm Still in the Game" speech. "Look at all of these people from the 1990's lined up behind me. Don't we all look like losers. I can't believe I actually have to go to New Hampshire. Damn it, just make me President. Now. Please."
Lame.
Bill looked like he was hoping for another tsunami to hit so he could to catch the next flight out of town. He seemed tired and beaten. Now the pundits are tring to make Hillary the next "Comeback Kid". Only they forgot something - you need to be likeable. If you had the opportunity to hit Starbucks for just 10 minutes with one of the candidates would you pick Hillary? Would she even be in the top 5? She might be a really smart, experienced person. She's just not that likeable.
Edward's speech was just as impassioned as his campaigning. Is that enough? Probably not. This isn't 1968. He's not Bobby Kennedy. The working-class, union coalition just doesn't exist anymore. I appreciate the fact that his family worked so hard to give him a better life. I can identify with that from my own family experience. But that lifestyle and those types of jobs are never coming back. I feel his passion but unless he wins New Hampshire and then South Carolina I can't see him continuing. And he's not going to win South Carolina.
Iowa GOP Results
My Republican predictions were spot on with the exception that McCain technically finished fourth, 300 or 400 votes behind Fred Thompson. Chalk one up for Mr. Law & Order. Iowa has always had a serious religious bent. Combine that with Huckabee's superior personal skills and charismatic speaking ability and I can't see how this was such a big surprise to the media. Although, I don't live in Washington or New York so I'm not afflicted by Beltway or Manhattan myopia.
Seriously, did Mitt Romney seem credible in Iowa? The whole flannel shirt, I'm a regular guy approach seemed so false that it was laughable. He's a politician! He's from a political family. His father was governor of Michigan. He ran against Nixon for the White House. Did Mitt think that a bad Christmas gift from LL Bean was going to convince people that he's just a regular Joe? C'mon Mitt you're a multi-millionaire with the most extensive business background of anyone in either party. Why try and convince people you're a right wing hardliner with serious religious convictions? You were elected Governor of Massachusetts - home of the Kennedys and Tip O"Neal for God's sake. Stop attacking likeable Huck and get to work! Otherwise, see if you can join in the Mike Gravel - Dennis Kucinich cage match. (see Jan 2 post).
Seriously, did Mitt Romney seem credible in Iowa? The whole flannel shirt, I'm a regular guy approach seemed so false that it was laughable. He's a politician! He's from a political family. His father was governor of Michigan. He ran against Nixon for the White House. Did Mitt think that a bad Christmas gift from LL Bean was going to convince people that he's just a regular Joe? C'mon Mitt you're a multi-millionaire with the most extensive business background of anyone in either party. Why try and convince people you're a right wing hardliner with serious religious convictions? You were elected Governor of Massachusetts - home of the Kennedys and Tip O"Neal for God's sake. Stop attacking likeable Huck and get to work! Otherwise, see if you can join in the Mike Gravel - Dennis Kucinich cage match. (see Jan 2 post).
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Iowa Predictions
Dems (Too close to call)
Edwards
Obama
Clinton
GOP (Closer than most people think)
Huckabee
Romney
McCain
Edwards
Obama
Clinton
GOP (Closer than most people think)
Huckabee
Romney
McCain
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Up First - Iowa
It's finally 2008 and just in time for our first presidential primary, er caucus, Iowa. So lets get to the rules - pay attention.
If you're a Republican it's fairly simple - you gather up all your friends, go to the designated coffeehouse, tavern, private home, etc; and prepare to listen to speeches. After you've been swayed, or not, you write down the name of your candidate on a piece of paper, stuff it in a ballot box and you're done! Its up to the Iowa state Republican party to count and accurately tally up the percentages for each candidate. C'mon we all know that Republicans can count votes. Didn't the GOP prove that in 2000?!
Now what happens if your guy wins? (sorry no women in the GOP caucus) Actually, not much. Unlike the Dems, the GOP winner in Iowa doesn't necessarily go on to New Hampshire and the nomination. In fact, Pat Robertson won the Iowa caucuses in 1988 beating out Bush Sr. That doesn't mean that Huckabee can't ride his folksy humor all the way to Pennsylvania Avenue or that Mitt can't parlay his millions into the Presidency. It simply meants that absent a "Yee-Haw" scene all of the viable GOP pols are still in the race. So take heart Rudy and John fans. Its far from over. Regardless of the sensationalistic spin that Wolf and team will pronounce on CNN or whatever death dirge Britt, Bill and company chant on Fox its just the beginning for the Grand Ol' Party. Stay tuned.
To the late (I mean that figuratively) Fred Thompson go back to TV. Law and Order is due for another spin-off and you were great on the original. Stick to it. Campaigning isn't your thing. For all you Ron Paul fans - nice try but pick someone who has a chance. If you don't know what else to do with your money, my buddy has a nice condo in Miami he's looking to offload.
If you're a Democrat - get out your rulebooks (all 70 some pages)! Make sure that Hillary or Barack/Oprah have lined up babysitting for you and have properly shoveled the driveway. Its time to caucus! Really, you don't need the rulebook. Remember 7th grade? It's sort of like that. You cram too many people into a small space and then listen to amateur orators harangue you into believing that their candidate is the best. Here's my favorite part - then you go to that section of the room where the other cool kids are hanging out to signify that you believe in your/their candidate. No secret ballot. No real voting - good ol' peer pressure - just like junior high. And you wondered why all those 19 year old "Deaniacs" folded four years ago. They couldn't take the pressure! Seriously, did you think that anyone could publicly support the socialist governor of Vermont to be President? C'mon John Kerry couldn't excite that many people to "vote" for him if his life depended on it. You knew something else happened.
Now what happens if your person wins? Hmm, if you're Hillary and victorious then the pundits will crow abour Barack's inexperience and the sobering opinions of those sensible Iowans. On to New Hampshire and Victory! Maybe. If you're Barack then its Camelot for a new generation and who cares about the Granite State. It's on to South Carolina and Victory! Maybe. If you're John Edwards you have to win the Corn Crib State. Hillary will win NH if she wins Iowa. Barack will win SC if he wins Iowa, you have to win something. Last stand at Cedar Rapids! Definitely.
Now what about AYO (all you others)? Go home. Now. Please. Don't wait for somebody to call you for the second slot either. Bill Richardson has been Ambassador to the UN; Talked that crazy North Korean out of going postal ; He's Hispanic. He's on the ticket. The rest of you go back to the Senate where you belong. Kucinich go back to Cleveland and keep the river from catching fire. Challenge Mike Gravel to a pay-per-view World's Angriest Man contest but quit running for President!
Well thats the view from the Heartland. Next up - New Hampshire.
If you're a Republican it's fairly simple - you gather up all your friends, go to the designated coffeehouse, tavern, private home, etc; and prepare to listen to speeches. After you've been swayed, or not, you write down the name of your candidate on a piece of paper, stuff it in a ballot box and you're done! Its up to the Iowa state Republican party to count and accurately tally up the percentages for each candidate. C'mon we all know that Republicans can count votes. Didn't the GOP prove that in 2000?!
Now what happens if your guy wins? (sorry no women in the GOP caucus) Actually, not much. Unlike the Dems, the GOP winner in Iowa doesn't necessarily go on to New Hampshire and the nomination. In fact, Pat Robertson won the Iowa caucuses in 1988 beating out Bush Sr. That doesn't mean that Huckabee can't ride his folksy humor all the way to Pennsylvania Avenue or that Mitt can't parlay his millions into the Presidency. It simply meants that absent a "Yee-Haw" scene all of the viable GOP pols are still in the race. So take heart Rudy and John fans. Its far from over. Regardless of the sensationalistic spin that Wolf and team will pronounce on CNN or whatever death dirge Britt, Bill and company chant on Fox its just the beginning for the Grand Ol' Party. Stay tuned.
To the late (I mean that figuratively) Fred Thompson go back to TV. Law and Order is due for another spin-off and you were great on the original. Stick to it. Campaigning isn't your thing. For all you Ron Paul fans - nice try but pick someone who has a chance. If you don't know what else to do with your money, my buddy has a nice condo in Miami he's looking to offload.
If you're a Democrat - get out your rulebooks (all 70 some pages)! Make sure that Hillary or Barack/Oprah have lined up babysitting for you and have properly shoveled the driveway. Its time to caucus! Really, you don't need the rulebook. Remember 7th grade? It's sort of like that. You cram too many people into a small space and then listen to amateur orators harangue you into believing that their candidate is the best. Here's my favorite part - then you go to that section of the room where the other cool kids are hanging out to signify that you believe in your/their candidate. No secret ballot. No real voting - good ol' peer pressure - just like junior high. And you wondered why all those 19 year old "Deaniacs" folded four years ago. They couldn't take the pressure! Seriously, did you think that anyone could publicly support the socialist governor of Vermont to be President? C'mon John Kerry couldn't excite that many people to "vote" for him if his life depended on it. You knew something else happened.
Now what happens if your person wins? Hmm, if you're Hillary and victorious then the pundits will crow abour Barack's inexperience and the sobering opinions of those sensible Iowans. On to New Hampshire and Victory! Maybe. If you're Barack then its Camelot for a new generation and who cares about the Granite State. It's on to South Carolina and Victory! Maybe. If you're John Edwards you have to win the Corn Crib State. Hillary will win NH if she wins Iowa. Barack will win SC if he wins Iowa, you have to win something. Last stand at Cedar Rapids! Definitely.
Now what about AYO (all you others)? Go home. Now. Please. Don't wait for somebody to call you for the second slot either. Bill Richardson has been Ambassador to the UN; Talked that crazy North Korean out of going postal ; He's Hispanic. He's on the ticket. The rest of you go back to the Senate where you belong. Kucinich go back to Cleveland and keep the river from catching fire. Challenge Mike Gravel to a pay-per-view World's Angriest Man contest but quit running for President!
Well thats the view from the Heartland. Next up - New Hampshire.
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